2011 07 22 Age

I think about age often.

Not every day or anything. But now and then I would think about being old (like 70), and how it must be terrible or at least not too pleasant. I am afraid of it more than of death.

However, growing older is also such a smooth and nice process.

Not that I am actually old or anything. But I remember being sensitive about my age just last year. Today, I am completely comfortable with being 25. I have friends that are only 18 or 20 and they call me big sister, or sometimes they call me mom for a joke. When they do that, I would laugh and then let them get water for me. It's actually quite nice to be a big sister.

(I never knew, because I am an only child)

Young people sometimes act or speak disrespectful or condescending about old age. In my opinion, they actually have no just reason to.

Personally, I am wondering why nobody tells them that being young is actually more awful. I would never, never, never ever want to go back to being 15. Or 16. Or anything under 20 for that matter. All these conflicting feelings you have, having to depend on your equally unstable peers for guidance, not having quite figured out yourself...

I might only be through a quarter of my life at the max. However, the more I progress, the more I feel at ease with myself. I know that in due time, I will also feel at ease with the people around me, and finally with the world as a whole.


I don't know.

But that's what I came to believe, and that's what it feels like to grow. So that's what I am actually looking forward to!

I mean, there is so many things to bring you down. Maybe I'll take on a job I hate, or I'll end up poor and unable to fend for myself, or I'll be struck by bad luck in general and will have to endure a life of pain, or when I finally hit 50+ my body will slowly but surely fail on me by the by... But at least you can count on yourself, and be at peace with the person that you are, that you cannot change even if you wanted.

The Way I Like It

These pictures pretty much sum up the way I'd love to look. Sharp, edgy, monotone-colored and with a hint of mannish attitude.

More pictures [via fashiongonerogue]

2011 07 16 "The Cult of Less"

To own less or to not own less?

I have apparently been feeling similar to many people out there the last half year. A sudden aversion to the extreme consumption I indulged in for years was thus replaced with the stance that less is more. It was (still is?) a trend, and they like to call it minimalism.

Sure enough, I still do think getting rid of clutter is better than owning too much. However, I have personal reasons, too, such as coming from a household that clings to useless clutter, a habit I in consequence try to avoid. Furthermore, I hope to be able to focus on the essentials better by toning down materially, also in order to curb spending.

I have been sticking to my resolve to de-clutter every once in a while when I realize that the items I do not wear anymore are getting more again. It is the best strategy to save space for better things! However, I have also been getting more lax about it, thinking that leaving it as it is does not hurt either.

[…] if you're fixated on owning less stuff, you're still fixated on stuff.

Perhaps a truer simplicity lies in learning to stay calm amid the chaos: not in engineering your environment so that it makes you tranquil, but in reducing the degree to which your tranquillity is dependent on your environment […]

Teenage Shoes

I finally bought another pair of Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Hi-tops the other day in black ox leather.

Buying them was maybe a total throw back to the emotional roller coaster ride that was my teenage youth, at least in fashionable terms. Oh, how sad I was sometimes, but how much I loved wearing my Chucks. With 15.

Now 10 years later, the leather version just looks almost exactly as the original black version. But everything's better in leather. I might need to buy short socklets, though.

Is it sexy?

Oscillating between cheeky boyish and very laid back casual I have not yet found my perfect personal impersonation of feminine elegant and... dare I say it? --- sexy.

I have never tried to be sexy.

I still do not.

I do not want to. Not if it is about attracting men. However, I do think that 'sexy' is also the ambiguous term that roughly describes a body-conscious and body-emphasizing approach to dressing and expressing oneself that shows the outside world on how good terms you are with your body. In short, it can show how well you feel in your own skin. If you feel good about your own body, that's automatically sexy, too. And if we take this as a definition of 'sexy', I guess I want to be it. Someday?

Pictures [via SicaJ // unknown // Asian Models]

2011 07 09 Comfort Dressing

This is my go-to outfit these days when I do not want to put in a lot of effort into dressing up but want to feel absolutely comfortable and at ease.

To me, however, feeling comfortable and at ease does not only involve physical well-being or freedom. The way I look reflects the way I feel and the other way around. So to me, putting together an outfit is a question of mentality, too, as I try to figure out that morning what I feel like and thus also feel like wearing.

I mean, you all know how it is maybe. If I am feeling like being charming, I pull out a feminine dress and let my hair down. If I want to be one of the boys, destroyed look denim shorts and a T-shirt it is.

Most of the time, of course, I have a consistant overall idea of what I want to look like and be perceived as as a whole. That image I have of myself and the way I express it is what I feel the most comfortable with, and it also is what defines 'my personal style'. In consequence, the things I shop for, the way I style my hair or the clothes I wear all resonate with the look and the image I eventually want to achieve. If ever some little thing of all of it is off, I find no comfort. Because the way I look reflects the way I feel and the other way around. It sounds so vain and shallow to say it this way, but to feel good I need to know I look good, too.

Alexander McQueen Resort 2011

After almost a decade of boyish looks and loose cuts, I am finally open to more feminine lines and form hugging fits if only in good measure and balancing out a more casual silhouette. White crochet or sophisticated white blouses with a beautiful twist certainly sound good to me.

[via knightcat]